Lines excite me

Even the ones on the OPKs. Even when the test line is veeery, veeery faint which means it's negative.

I can't exactly explain how I feel about positive HPTs since... well... I haven't experienced that yet, but getting a positive OPK makes me downright giddy.

First of all, I am happy because I know my body is doing something right. I'm having some serious body issues right now (after a lifetime of hating my body, losing weight made me like and appreciate it for the first time. Not getting pregnant within the first three cycles is making me dislike my body again), so any consolation that it is doing something right is a good thing. Secondly, I know I have the hope of pregnancy, knowing we've timed our BD right, knowing I've followed all the leads my body has given me.

And the veeery, veeery faint test line on the OPK makes me happy because I know my body pretty well by now and I know that signals ovulation right around the corner. My OPKs stay stark white until about 1-2 days before I ovulate, so that beginning of a line that I need to use a microscope and special lighting to see is my signal to listen even more carefully to my body and follow all of it's commands.

This month, so far, looks like a very good month stress wise. Husband and I's getaway last night was the most relaxed I have been for a long, long time. In addition the exceptionally sweet, edifying things he said to me helped calm and soothe me.

Here goes!