A friend of mine asked me the other day if I felt BrotherB was a good influence on Husband. My initial reaction is yes. BB has taught Husband a lot and has been an invaluable source of help numerous times. But something interesting occured after the appearance of Peanut. BB's influence on Husband has become more of a lesson in what not to do than in good parenting techniques. Husband frequently comments that he feels Peanut is more of an accessory for BB & SIL than a child. Sadly, I have to agree.
Unfortunately, Husband doesn't pick up on all the things and now feels that certain ways they parent are the only possible choices. More specifically, he thinks it's impossible to raise a child without a pacifier. When Husband disagrees with me on something, I fall back on my research-a-holic tendencies. We recently went over the cloth diaper vs disposable diaper issue. His inbox was filled with statistics, reports and articles within three hours :-)
So while in search of an article that would highlight the problems with pacifiers and alternatives that soothe as well without adversely affecting breastfeeding, I came across this resource on Dr. Sears' website, in particular, this point:
Times To Pull The Plug:
As habitual substitutes for nurturing. Ideally, pacifiers are for the comfort of babies, not the convenience of parents (but I have yet to meet the ideal parent or the ideal baby and, believe it or not, you probably won't meet any on this site.) To insert the plug and leave baby in the plastic infant seat every time he cries is unhealthy reliance on an artificial comforter. This baby needs picking up and holding. Always relying on an alternative peacemaker lessens the buildup of baby's trust in the parents and denies the parents a chance to develop baby comforting skills. Pacifiers are meant to satisfy intense sucking needs, not to delay or replace nurturing. A person should always be at the other end of a comforting tool. The breast (or the
finger) has the built-in advantage of making sure you don't fall into the habit of just plugging up the source of the cries as a mechanical gesture. When baby cries, if you find yourself, by reflex, reaching for the pacifier instead of reaching for your baby, pull the plug – and lose it.
Husband loves getting emails from me :-)