Thursday, February 7, 2008

Roller Coaster Time Again!!

So I've had my fourth failed cycle since I lost Lucas, but it finally brought forth a diagnosis.

My miscarriage in conjunction with my charts (the low temps, so-so thermal shifts and short LPs) points to a low progesterone issue. I'm not happy to know there is something wrong with me (okay, we all knew there is more than one thing wrong with me ;) ), but I am thrilled to know that there is action being taken.

I felt helpless when I laid on the couch bleeding, losing my son. I knew I was losing him, but I couldn't do anything to stop it. I sobbed uncontrollably and began to hate myself for failing so miserably.

I know this may not be the complete answer. I know there will be some nerve-wracking times to come. I know this may not be the magical solution, but it's hope. It's a step in the right direction and it's giving me a reason to try to trust my body again.

So with a renewed hope, I took 50mg of Clomid on cycle days 3 - 7 and am now feeling the severe tell-tale ovulation pains. And when I say pain I mean PAIN. Holy cow I feel like my right ovary is going to pop out of my body. And that left one is twinging as well. Don't care, just give me a baby for it. :-D

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