Tuesday, April 3, 2007

The Lies We Tell

The Plan, ever since I was a child, was for me to be a stay-at-home mom. Perhaps not forever, but until the children were in all-day school. I made this very clear to Husband before the fateful "I do's" were said. I was firm in my stance that I wanted to be SAHM. Now that I am older and the majority of my friends are parents, I am even more convinced that being a SAHM is the right choice for me.

That said, I adore my career, most especially now that I work for such a fantastic man. He's always been incredibly generous to his staff and is wonderful to me in many ways other than just financially. I can't say enough about his thoughtfulness and compassion. Since I've begun working for him, I have been encouraged by a few friends and Husband to try to work part-time for him since he is such an outstanding employer.

The problem is, there is no such thing as part-time in this office. Either you are in it totally or not at all.

So I've said numerous times in the office, when the topic has come up, or the question asked, that I don't want children. It's career strategizing at it's most mediocre. If I acknowledge my desire for children, then it will inevitably be brought up about my working plans post child birth. I don't want to express my desire to be a SAHM because, as wonderful as my boss is, there are others in the office who would have much to say. There would also be a lot of jealousy from said colleagues because they are not financially able to do the same, and in a small office, that situation is not ideal.

Yes, it's an outright lie, but until I actually do conceive, I choose to keep my secrets well hidden.

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