Basically because I am weird.
This cycle I've decided to begin temping vaginally. After receiving some great advice from one board I frequent, and being advised to wait until after AF to begin temping vaginally (good thing too because the thought of temping vaginally while on AF skeeved me out), I'll start tomorrow.
Proactively doing something different - doing something better if you will - has given me a glimpse of hope. I just pray it carries me through this cycle.