40 weeks 3 days

I am realizing people say some pretty interesting things to women who are have gone past their due date. Here is a helpful list of things NOT to say to such a woman:

• "Still pregnant?!?!?!" Said with varying levels of incredulity. I think the entire lack of a child in my arms is a pretty good indicator.
• "My aunt/cousin/niece/sister/random stranger did X and had her baby within 24 hours." If I wanted a sure fire way to have my child, I'd take the pitocin evil on-call OB would so willingly offer me. And if/when I want a natural induction, I'll ask for help or consult on-call midwife.
• Please do not correct me, especially about something trivial. I am tired, cranky, worried and all other sorts of emotions, I just need to rant sometimes without being corrected.
• "If you drop any further, he will be between your knees!" I am carrying him, I know exactly how low he is. Trust me.
• "I went three weeks past my due date with my first." Not helpful. Really not helpful.
• Any comment on my size. Any. I know I don't have a very large belly. I know I haven't gained a lot of weight with this baby, but both the doctors and I are confident based on his size and heart rate that he is healthy and the other numbers really don't count.
• "He'll come when he is ready." No, really? DUH!
• "He's waiting for the Steeler game/the election/some other specific day." Really? Have you been consulting with my still-in-utero child without my knowledge? Nice to know he talks more to random people than he does to the woman who has carried him for the past nine months and contributed half of his DNA.
• "Maybe your due date is wrong." I have been using NFP for many years now, I know how to chart. Beyond that, I know I ovulated on February 7th. In case you need it taken one step further, coitus: 2/7 at 1:30 pm, ovulation: 2/7 at 4:30 pm. I know my due date.

There are more, but these are the only ones I've encountered recently. Stay tuned for more rants from the preggo chick ;-)

I've become rather chatty lately

Considering the fact I've only made five posts this entire year (and we're halfway into February), but I feel the need to blog.

It just sucks that I am not pregnant. And it sucks that I have the label of being under infertility treatment.

I know, I will appreciate my kids more than people who easily get pregnant, but I really am having a hard time dealing with that right now.

All I keep thinking is, "This freaking sucks!!!"

Just need to vent

Hasty Disclaimer: If you are pregnant and reading this, please don't take offense. I am ranting and venting from a place of deep hurt and pain. This isn't directed at anyone and I do not fault anyone who has tried for a baby their joy of pregnancy and, in fact, I usually will rejoice with you. However I need to vent this, I need to release.

I am so freaking sick of seeing pregnant women! Absolutely everywhere I go I see someone who is pregnant and it rips my heart out.

My SIL recently told me her seventeen year old brother got his girlfriend pregnant at the same time SIL was going through IVF treatments to have Peanut. His girlfriend had an abortion. I am not going to get into the pro-life/pro-choice debate, but I just want to scream, "I want a baby!!! How can they get pregnant so freaking easily, when I've been hoping, praying and dreaming of a baby! It is NOT fair that she got knocked up in the backseat of some crappy sedan with a kid she didn't want and I can't get the baby I want more than anything!!"

Last night I fell asleep in Husband's arms, sobbing because I was spotting. And that just meant to me that another month was gone. Another cycle my body didn't do what it was supposed to do and get pregnant.

I am beginning to dislike my body. Innumerable other women on this planet do not have this problem. They say, "I think I'll get pregnant" and boom, it happens. I am in the end stages of my 11th cycle since I stopped using birth control. We've been actively trying since May, but we haven't used any form of birth control since December 31st, 2006.

Now, I shall end this disjointed, nonsensical sounding post and cry myself to sleep again because it just seems like the evitable end of my day since my spotting has resumed.

Grrrr at...

• OPKs. I am continually getting negative OPKs, but tonight while I was standing at the sink doing dishes, I got a very distinct ovulation pain on my left side. I guess tomorrow's temps will tell me for sure, but I am almost certain I ovulated today, whether or not my OPK agrees.
  
• My brother. As annoyed as I am that my neice is expecting before I am, he promised to send the 3-D, color ultrasound she had done recently. He promised to email it on Saturday. Today is Monday. No email.
  
• The local hospital. For incorrectly billing me for bloodwork. Twice.
  

I'm in an unhappy mood. Promise happier things tomorrow, stay tuned.

Okay egg, where might you be hiding?

I'm getting impatient.

Wait, that's not true. To say I am getting impatient implies I was patient to begin with!

I took my very first OPK today and expected to see a faint test line, indicating that, while not yet surging, my LH was on an upward turn. With OPKs a few days before ovulation, you get faint test lines because the LH is building, then the test line becomes darker than the control line when you're actually about to ovulate (about 24-48 hours before ovulation).

Unfortunately, there was not even a tiny, faint line.

Granted I don't trust OPKs implicitly, but still I was hoping to get a little signal saying, "Okay, Krissy, your O date is coming!"

Sigh. If I'm this bad in the ovulation wait, the 2ww is going to be interesting.

Problem #3,295 with outsourcing

I'm not going to get in to a political debate about party vs party, or agenda vs agenda, I'm just going to rant about outsourcing, big companies and how they are giving me a headache.

Prior to our move, we had a PO box address. After we moved, we retained the PO box for a while and slowly began changing our bills over to the new address to do it in something resembling a controlled fashion so nothing would get missed. Or so we thought.

We changed one particular credit card last and decided to wait until after the holidays to change it... just in case. We haven't received a bill from them since March. We got a phone call today saying our card was past due. Why? Because we haven't received a bill!

Interestingly enough, when I was speaking to the person about the bill, she asked me to confirm my address since I claimed I hadn't received a bill. Now, I bet you are thinking that they didn't change the address, right? Umm, no, they changed it. To something not even close to what the old or new address is! They took our street number, made it a PO Box instead, didn't change the city, but changed the zip code!

I was not a happy camper. To make me even more unhappy, the person I was speaking to obviously did not speak English as her first language. Heck, I can't even say it was her second language as I had to slowly spell out the word "Old" for her. Twice. And then I demanded to talk to a CSR who speaks English in order to get these ridiculous late fees removed from our account.

Grrrr, good thing I am stressing prior to TTC or being pg. This would NOT be good for the baby.