40 weeks 2 days

Still here. Slightly more happy.

Let me explain the "worst birth ever" comment because it sounds terrible rereading that. I have raved before about my fantastic OBs and I will continue to stand firm in my adoration of them... but I've found a dent in their shining armor. Apparently something happened unexpectedly and this weekend they are both going to be out of town. So another practice is covering for them. You can already see where this is going right?

The other practice contains 5 doctors. Out of the five, I've heard good things (although their reputation isn't as natural birth friendly as my current practice, they are better than most). One of them I've heard horrible things about. He and my doula specifically had an issue (the issue being he threw her certification paperwork back in her face). And out of all five doctors guess which one is on call this weekend? Yep, you got it. The doula-hating, cesarean promoting, anti-natural birth doctor. This guy really is the epitome of all things wrong with obstetrics.

So I had a melt-down. A melt-down I was proud to have controlled as well as I actually did, but still a melt-down that ended in a frantic call to my doula explaining the situation.

Which brings me to the section of this post titled "Why Every Woman Needs A Doula". If my labor starts this weekend and I truly do not feel like I can call my OBs answering service, I will have a midwife as back-up to deliver my baby at home. This midwife began practicing after I was already under prenatal care with my OB and, due mostly to Husband's slight apprehension at homebirth, I decided to just stay with my practice. But with the current situation, after being informed of the particular doctor's personality, she agreed to be my back-up care. So the situation I thought could lead to the worst birth ever may actually give me the birth I've desired (although I am completely unprepared for!).

Oh and since I mentioned Husband's homebirth apprehension, I should add a tidbit about him. I've been gently informing him of the benefits of natural childbirth, homebirth, minimal medical intervention, non-circumcision, exclusive breastfeeding, etc for years now. I've converted him on many things, but homebirth concerned him and he still felt that a hospital and a doctor's care was the best place to be for birth. The other day he looks at me and says, "Our doctors aren't big on inducing, right?" After assuring him that one big reason I chose them is because they are NOT fans of induction, he said, "Oh good because inducing labor raises the chance of a c-section and the only reason doctors like to do c-sections are because they make a lot more money." Now, this is NOT new information to me, but it is new that Husband is listening to me and not being as blindingly trusting of medical staff.

After telling Husband about the possibility of a homebirth, he expressed some concerns, but I informed him that the doctor on call was exactly the kind of doctor who would induce and would wind up performing a c-section on me because he cares more about the bottom line financially and being in total control of a situation than he is about me or the baby. So he is now not opposed to a homebirth... if this weekend requires it.

And our second baby will be born at home. :-)

39 weeks

So after a crazy week (which included those silly on and off contractions that make me think something is really going down just to stop on their own), I saw the doctor today. After reporting the contractions and the discharge (I think I'm one of those women who lose their mucous plug slowly instead of all at once), he decided to do an internal check. At my practice, they rarely do internals because A) it is uncomfortable and B) you can be 1 cm for a while and it really not mean anything, so why get your hopes up, but my symptoms warranted a check.

Speaking of 1 cm, I am just a little over 1 cm, he said being liberal he'd say 2, but still nothing major. I am thrilled that there is something going on down there though. If I was completely closed, I'd be a little disappointed. I am also slightly effaced. Again, nothing huge, but proof that something is gonna happen.

Tomorrow is Husband's last day of work until January! He decided all on his own to take 2 months off when the baby is born (he is taking the last week of October off as his vacation). He said he wants to get adjusted to having a baby and help me get in the groove of breastfeeding and being a SAH/WAH mom. Yeah, big "awwww" moment for me there :-D Now, if I can convince him to use some of this time off to finish a few projects around the house, we will be in really good shape ;-)

Today I plan to put all the freshly laundered bedding on the crib, put away all his nicely cleaned clothes and get all his stuffed animals set up in their cradle. I also want to get the diapers washed and put away in the stacker. If I have enough time before our childbirth class, I'd like to get the pack and play put up in the living room as well, but we shall see what this evening brings!

Speaking of childbirth class, this will be our second one and my skeptical Husband was very happy to know we have a doula after going through the first class. And when speaking to his one friend who asked about our lamaze class, he said, "We aren't doing lamaze, we are doing HUSBAND involved childbirth." He loves being such an important part of it and actually paid attention the entire time! I was so impressed!

Now, off to complete a few errands before tackling the rest of these projects.

37 weeks 2 days

I am term. At any point now, this little guy could be born and his lungs and brain would be well developed and, in all likelihood, have no problems. That is a comfort for someone who has spent her entire 9 months petrified of losing another baby.

I've become one of those frivolous moms. I bought him a Thanksgiving outfit. I can't help it! I went to BRU with the express interest of buying his Christmas present which happened to be on sale this weekend. And I was sucked into the cuteness of the Thanksgiving clothes and I wasn't strong enough to resist.

Tonight is going to consist of finishing the faux finish on the wall in the baby's room. Tomorrow Husband is going to put up the chair rail and my mom and I will hang the gossamer and lights. Hopefully I can even get the floor at least vacuumed so it is ready for the shampooing. Then I can put Husband to work this week assembling the crib and moving the dresser into his room. If all goes well, by next weekend his room should be all done!

Pictures are sure to follow.

35 weeks 2 days

I should title this one "oh my word, my baby is coming."

I have one month left. One. A singular month until my son is in my arms. Okay, so the technical month time line is still 2 days away, but you get the jist... it's close!

In medical news: At our appointment I got a major commendation from the NP. She said my weight is fantastic (17 lbs above pre preg weight), B/P perfect (100/60) and I look great. She also said she expects me to leave the hospital weighing less than before I got pregnant based on where I am now. I was told Baby A is head down and is dropping. We are now down to weekly OB visits! Yikes!

We spent the day spending a bunch of our gift cards at Babies R' Us. Much to my chagrin, the two main things we wanted were on backorder. We got a rain check for one and the other *should* be in in about two weeks. Ya know, right before my kid is due. I know I don't need it immediately after he's born, but still, I am a "be prepared" kind of chick.

Today I rearranged the bedroom and set up his cradle, put the sheet on and the spiffy blankey made by his Grammy (my mom) so he has at least one place to sleep and it's right next to his Momma. And I was able to arrange it so that our first baby (ya know, the furry one on four legs) won't have to give up the window she so loves to stare out.

I also packed my bag and a bag for dh and I plan to keep both of those in my vehicle as well. The only thing I want to get is some snacks for dh. I don't mind him having snacks there (I know some women do mind) and I would rather pack stuff for him than have him leave to track down food in the cafeteria when I really need him.

Tomorrow the plan is to clean out my vehicle and get the car seat all hooked up. Because, you know, he is coming. In a month.

Dude, I'm gonna be a mom!

30 weeks 3 days

Am I nesting? You be the judge.

Husband rented a large dumpster to get rid of the mattress and boxsprings in our future nursery and some other various items. In one day, I have halfway filled said dumpster with various things from our linen closet, laundry room and bedroom. And I don't mean big items, I mean normal stuff, just tons of junk.

I've scrubbed out my refrigerator. From top to bottom, pulled it out and scrubbed behind it as well.

I have my third load of laundry going since 1:00pm.

I had Husband move out the washing machine and dryer so I could vacuum and scrub behind them.

I threw away three bags of clothes.

And it's currently 3:30pm.

Yeah, I think I am firmly entrenched in the nesting phase :-) My OCD Husband loves it!

27w3d Third Trimester

Not a whole lot to update on except the fact I have a very active son! He likes to kick Momma and willingly kicks Daddy at least once a day. Daddy refuses to go to sleep (or let Momma sleep) until our little guy has kicked at least once for him to feel.

I made a proclamation at work. I finally let them know I would NOT be returning to the out of home workforce once my boy is here. It wasn't a warm reception to my announcement, but it was necessary. I'm not egotistical enough to think I am irreplaceable, but I know how things work in my office and I know that anyone who comes in would benefit more (as would my boss) from being with me for a few weeks and observing, plus performing my job with me there to help, would be better for both my boss and the new person.

So far Baby A (yep, we have a name and no, I am not going to say it just yet) has had not one but TWO train rides. We rode one at Idlewild park (plus Mr. Rogers' trolley) and then rode another yesterday at the steam show. Daddy is already brainwashing him into loving trains :-)

I feel blessed and I feel content. I can't really complain about this pregnancy because I've had no morning sickness, no heartburn, no major problem just exhausted a lot. I've had a very easy pregnancy with this little guy.

And I just can't wait to meet him.

I thought this would never happen

Husband is actually thankful for a BD break!!

To be completely honest, we both have pretty high sex drives, so TTC usually hasn't been too much of an issue for us, but I think this cycle has taken it's toll on him. He said to me Tuesday night, "Do we have to BD tonight?" That was my first clue he was getting worn out. I had a feeling I had already Oed, but I told him I wanted one more day in just to be sure.

Luckily for him, I have had a nice, clear thermal shift so I am sure I Oed and he can get a break, poor guy.

Never thought I'd see the day when Husband was pleading for abstinence ;-)

The Husband, he's funny

A while ago, he came home with a piece from the paper (the Dear Abby section, I have no clue why he was reading that particular section) about breastfeeding and said, "Thought you'd be interested in this." Kinda surprised me because it was tough to convince him, initially, of the benefits of exclusive breastfeeding. He really wanted to be able to feed the baby, but I showed him all the data and also told him that since I'd be solely in charge of feedings for the first year or so, we could make bath time "Daddy time". 100% bonding between Dad & baby, no interference from Mom.

Today he came home with two additional articles. Neither provided me with any new info, but was totally new for him. The first was about teaching infants sign language and he said, "Do you think we should do this?" I smiled and said, "We were going to."

The second article was about living diaper-free. He said, "I'm shocked you don't want to do this." I explained to him that I did, but with as difficult as the concept of cloth diapers was for him to handle, I figured being diaper-free would be too much for him to handle. I've learned to pick my battles and, even though I'd like to at least attempt it, I don't feel so passionate about this that I would fight for it like I do about exclusive bfing, not circing and selective vaccination. He shrugged and said, "Well, it sounds interesting." Coming from Husband, that's darn near a ringng endorsement!

I gotta say, I *heart* the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette for these articles. I think the husband may be becoming crunchy :-D

Lines excite me

Even the ones on the OPKs. Even when the test line is veeery, veeery faint which means it's negative.

I can't exactly explain how I feel about positive HPTs since... well... I haven't experienced that yet, but getting a positive OPK makes me downright giddy.

First of all, I am happy because I know my body is doing something right. I'm having some serious body issues right now (after a lifetime of hating my body, losing weight made me like and appreciate it for the first time. Not getting pregnant within the first three cycles is making me dislike my body again), so any consolation that it is doing something right is a good thing. Secondly, I know I have the hope of pregnancy, knowing we've timed our BD right, knowing I've followed all the leads my body has given me.

And the veeery, veeery faint test line on the OPK makes me happy because I know my body pretty well by now and I know that signals ovulation right around the corner. My OPKs stay stark white until about 1-2 days before I ovulate, so that beginning of a line that I need to use a microscope and special lighting to see is my signal to listen even more carefully to my body and follow all of it's commands.

This month, so far, looks like a very good month stress wise. Husband and I's getaway last night was the most relaxed I have been for a long, long time. In addition the exceptionally sweet, edifying things he said to me helped calm and soothe me.

Here goes!

Anniversaries, temperatures and cramping, oh my!

Tomorrow is Husband and I's sixth wedding anniversary. I wrote a huge bit about it on my MySpace page, and will probably post something more in detail on here tomorrow or Sunday, but right now I just want to make that announcement. After last year, I am surprised, proud and thankful we are celebrating our sixth anniversary and truly celebrating this year.

As for the rest of it, my temps have begun to get slightly erratic and, although my OPKs have consistantly been negative, I've had some odd cramping on my left side. It's very early for me to O, but I am taking Vitex this cy, so who knows what that's doing to my body.

I am praying intensely for this cycle. My brother's visit has been rescheduled to the end of Sept/beginning of Oct so I have another chance to tell them, in person, that I am pregnant. I would find out about the pregnancy, roughly, around Grandparent's Day, which would be a great way to announce it to my mom and Husband's parents. Also, the baby would be due in May, my birth month.

There is so much right about this, I can't stand to think of it going wrong.

And as corny as it sounds, I think I am falling in love with a person that hasn't been conceived yet. I know that's not truly possible, but I am falling in love with the hope of the person that may be to come. If that makes any sense at all, then it needs no further explanation. If it makes no sense at all, I don't think I can accurately describe it to you.

Playing the name game

Husband and I have had a difficult time agreeing on baby names. Well, boy's names to be exact. We had agreed on two girls' names, complete with middle names, but we have so many friends with children of the same names, we changed our minds. Now, we have one girl's name, first and middle, but are still having a raging boy's name battle.

Husband is Italian. He wants our son to have a very Italian name. He has suggested Rocco. Yes, I am serious.

The other night we were watching TV together and an Italian couple was on with their four children, all with very Italian names.

Krissy: "I like the name Gianni"

Husband: "Ew"

Krissy: "Well, do you have a better suggestion?"

Husband: "Marcello" big cheesy grin

Krissy: "Here we go again"

I knew I loved Dr. Sears for a reason!

Disclaimer: This entire post will sound very self-righteous and judgemental of me. Even moreso than my normal critiques of the parenting styles of BrotherB and SIL. However, this is my blog, my place to complain :-)

A friend of mine asked me the other day if I felt BrotherB was a good influence on Husband. My initial reaction is yes. BB has taught Husband a lot and has been an invaluable source of help numerous times. But something interesting occured after the appearance of Peanut. BB's influence on Husband has become more of a lesson in what not to do than in good parenting techniques. Husband frequently comments that he feels Peanut is more of an accessory for BB & SIL than a child. Sadly, I have to agree.

Unfortunately, Husband doesn't pick up on all the things and now feels that certain ways they parent are the only possible choices. More specifically, he thinks it's impossible to raise a child without a pacifier. When Husband disagrees with me on something, I fall back on my research-a-holic tendencies. We recently went over the cloth diaper vs disposable diaper issue. His inbox was filled with statistics, reports and articles within three hours :-)

So while in search of an article that would highlight the problems with pacifiers and alternatives that soothe as well without adversely affecting breastfeeding, I came across this resource on Dr. Sears' website, in particular, this point:

Times To Pull The Plug:
As habitual substitutes for nurturing. Ideally, pacifiers are for the comfort of babies, not the convenience of parents (but I have yet to meet the ideal parent or the ideal baby and, believe it or not, you probably won't meet any on this site.) To insert the plug and leave baby in the plastic infant seat every time he cries is unhealthy reliance on an artificial comforter. This baby needs picking up and holding. Always relying on an alternative peacemaker lessens the buildup of baby's trust in the parents and denies the parents a chance to develop baby comforting skills. Pacifiers are meant to satisfy intense sucking needs, not to delay or replace nurturing. A person should always be at the other end of a comforting tool. The breast (or the
finger) has the built-in advantage of making sure you don't fall into the habit of just plugging up the source of the cries as a mechanical gesture. When baby cries, if you find yourself, by reflex, reaching for the pacifier instead of reaching for your baby, pull the plug – and lose it.

Husband loves getting emails from me :-)

The birthday, recapped

I know the premise of this blog is all baby related, but since I will be the housing unit for said future child for 40 (hopefully) weeks and it's nourishment until he/she decides to wean, I think I could do a little Krissy talk for a bit.

Okay, Krissy whine is more appropriate.

Yesterday was my birthday. Now, this was not a monumental birthday, i.e. it wasn't my 10th, 13th, 16th, 18th, 21st or 30th bday, but it was still the anniversary of the date I entered the world.

As usual my mom went above and beyond just because she's my mom and is happier than anyone else that I am alive.

My doctor and coworkers remembered my bday (the truth is, I think my coworkers only remember anyone else on staff's bday because it means the doctor will buy us lunch and cake). And, in his usual fashion, my doctor closely examined my face for wrinkles. What a charmer.

Husband, however, disappointed me. For many years now, I've received a dozen roses from him, delivered to my work on my birthday (or close to it). Not this year. And when I was asked by people what he got me for my birthday, all I could say was, "Nothing." Not even a card.

Now, when he got home from work he brought me a dozen roses, but they appeared to have been bought last minute and weren't the perkiest roses if you know what I mean.

In his defense, he promised me that next weekend, when we have some free time to go shopping together, he wants to buy me new clothes for summer as none of my clothes from last year fit anymore. Don't know why, but something about losing 120 pounds makes your old wardrobe baggy ;-) But next weekend isn't my birthday! Yesterday was my birthday!

I've never been overly concerned with my birthday before. I've never really cared whether anyone remembered or forgot, but this year it's bothering me. Maybe it's the hormones, maybe it's the fact that I have siblings who ignored the anniversary of my birth as well.

Maybe I am just being a pain in the butt :-)

In other news, six more days!

A short Husband brag

Actually, a long Husband brag.

First off, let me say, it hasn't always been sunshine and roses with Husband and I. Last year at this time we almost joined the ranks of the divorce statistics. I'm not exaggerating with that statement. It was almost all over. But, Husband did something amazing and proved to me that our marriage was more important than his pride. He went to marriage counseling with me after months of fighting me. And it, literally, saved our marriage. This may sound cliche, but now that we've moved past the crisis I am thankful for it because it showed me the true strength of our relationship.

That said, I can be awfully critical of him at times, so let me take a moment to brag a bit.

Five years ago when his great niece was an infant, he gagged when she spit up a little on him, threw her into my arms and began ripping clothes off. Basically, he was completely spastic about the bodily functions of a baby, not a great indicator of future father material. He has repeatedly told me he couldn't handle changing diapers. Not even wet ones. Point blank refused.

This week, the Nephew (who will henceforth be known as Peanut because that's what I call him and I just can't stand calling him Nephew any more) had his first cold. Saturday night he threw up about two ounces of formula all over daddy. Sunday morning he threw up a large amount of formula all over Husband. In an event I can refer to as nothing short of miraculous, Husband put Peanut on his changing table, took off his outfit and cleaned him up before removing his own polo shirt. He then proceeded to change a poopy diaper before redressing him. Yep, my husband.

FTR, this is the second dirty diaper he has changed in the past two weeks and has even mastered the technique of changing a little boy without getting squirted. I was impressed and proud.

In addition to this, I have to brag on Husband's professional accomplishments. One of the girls I work with has a husband who is unemployed and not even attempting to attain employment. He's using school as an excuse (I won't go into all the details), but it's a bunch of bologna. But this particular man's lack of ambition and lack of responsibility has made me more appreciative of Husband's career and resilience.

When we were dating and first married he was a pilot. Then 9/11 happened. I think you can guess where his career went. Without missing a beat, he entered a new field and has become immensely successful. In the space of three years he has been promoted three times, received half a dozen raises and obtained 100% company paid medical, dental and vision insurance for himself and any dependents. In addition, he has begun his own company and has been very successful with it, making an amazing supplemental income. Between these two careers, I'll be afforded the privilege of being a stay-at-home mom. And I adore him for the fact he understood and embraced my need to be a SAHM and made major moves to make that possible.

He may actually be ready

In many ways, Husband has been ready for a baby for a while now. He loves children and interacts with them well. Mostly because his maturity is right on their level ;-)

But when it comes to practical child care, more specifically baby care, he has been pretty uninterested. Anytime a baby cries or needs to be changed, he is more than happy to hand him or her off. Kind of typical for a guy, but not something that a woman who wants to have a baby with her partner wants to see.

I had a serious talk with Husband about this a while ago. I basically said that we are finally in a position financially, medically and relationship-wise to have a baby. This is something we both want and we both need to take it seriously. Part of that seriousness is that he needs to be committed to being a true partner with me in this. That means being willing to handle a crying baby and do all the ridiculous things people do to attempt to calm said baby. That also means changing diapers. With all substances enclosed. He's been unwilling to do this.

He called me tonight, very proud of himself.

He changed the nephew's diaper. A very, very messy diaper. And changed his outfit. All by himself.

I'm impressed.