Saturday, April 12, 2008

11 weeks 2 days

Yeah, I completely neglected updating on the day of my graduation and then again the day after. My life's been insane, please forgive.

Besides the joy of being so much closer to the end of my first trimester and the next doctor's appointment where we will definitely hear that wonderful heartbeat on the doppler, this week has been momentous for other reasons. I've decreased my progesterone. Now we're down to once a day. In just five short days, it will again go down to every other day.

I feel like I am coming to the other side. I'm coming to peace with my body, even slightly. After losing Lucas, I distrusted and disliked my body. I not only mourned for the child that I lost, but for the fact my body was not competent enough to provide safety and support to my child. I faced the reality that I let my own child down by not providing it with the hormone balance it needed to survive.

But this time, with some medical help, I've done better. I've kept this child safe and protected thus far. And I am planning the entrace to the world this child deserves.

We're getting closer, folks. One and a half weeks to go until we reach the second trimester officially. And hopefully some movement.

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